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I’m in a band, I’m a drummer, and I’m having trouble dealing with the singer. Any Help?
This is a REALLY long and complicated question, but if somebody actually takes the time to read it and give me an opinion, it would mean a TON to me.
I’m a drummer, and I’m dedicated. I would love to get a career in performing in front of crowds, I practice for about 2-3 hours a day, have rehearsals with music programs on weekends for about 3 hours and then go home and practice, I take weekly lessons, have weekly band rehearsals, and I play in concert and jazz band in school.
I’m really serious about wanting a future in music. But, in my hometown, there aren’t a ton of people that would be dedicated like that. I go to a program called "School of Rock" on the weekends, and it’s a good way to meet other people that would be dedicated, and I’ve met at least one or two people that are nice, open minded, easy to get along with, and good musicians that have similar tastes in music as me, and I’m elated that I found them. But, the only guy that seems to be a decent enough singer (And he’s Decent. He’s not that great) isn’t as great. I’ve been in a band with 3 other people for about a year now. It started out with 4 other people, but we had to kick out the other guy, Will, because he was missing a ton of practices and gigs. The singer, Jack, who was a nice guy to Will when he was around, now talks about him since he’s out of the band, saying that he was forgetful, not a good songwriter (Which he was, actually) and was being a jerk (Which he wasn’t, at least I don’t think so.) Jack tends to be a nice guy when you’re talking to him, but he’ll say things about you if you don’t do exactly what he wants.
I also right a lot of lyrics for the band, as of now I’ve written somewhere around 12-13 songs worth of lyrics, and when I write lyrics, I put a lot of time into it, they tend to have actual meaning behind them. I’ve given them to Jack, and after a month I asked him what he thought of them, and he didn’t say anything. We’re now using one set of lyrics, which he changed up a lot because he said he "Couldn’t figure out a fitting melody" (I wrote one out and showed it to him on piano. I wouldn’t mind him changing the lyrics if he was moving stuff around, or maybe taking out some of the lines, but he made the original chorus into one line in the verse, and the chorus had the heftiest meaning behind it. I wouldn’t even have minded as much if he had even asked, but he just did it. He tells me to keep giving him lyrics because he says that he’s having a lyrical block, but every time I do he ignores them. If he ever writes lyrics, they tend to be really dumb. (I was playing my guitar/when out popped a centaur/who jammed/on his pan. I was cutting a mango/while the birds did a tango. The chorus for the song is just him repeating "Blueberry jam, strawberry jam.")
He also only writes lyrics during rehearsal. He says it’s because he’s too busy, and later he talks about the table he made out of pieces of wood and an old drum set, or how hard this part or that part of a video game is, and how long it took him to beat time trials in this game or w/e. He says the same thing about listening to things. I gave him a CD of a band called "Streetlight Manifesto" and told him I think he should listen to it, he’d like it a lot. Now, 3 months later, he still hasn’t listened to it.
PLUS, whenever I bring up something, like how the lyrics should be more serious, or how I think the band shouldn’t goof off quite as much since we’re trying to get ready to record, he shrugs it off, then a month later says the exact same thing.
The band originally had trouble coming up with a name, until we decided on Sociosound. I think it’s pretty cool, though he had to come up with it and ignored the band’s ideas. Then, when he was talking to somebody at school of rock, the other person said that it was a dumb name. So he changed it. It then became Rather Dashing, which I FINALLY became able to accept, even though it’s basically a gag so when we go onstage we can say that "We are Rather Dashing," and I think that if you’re a band you should be more serious than that, which I mentioned and he replied "Led Zeppelin did that kind of thing all the time." (They didn’t. I’m Zep Obsessed.) So I told him that I think that I though sociosound was better. He changed the name. Then, I was in a conversation with somebody at School of Rock, and he came up, and we were talking about the band and it’s name, I mentioned the name, and the other guy said "That’s kinda gay. Sociosound was better." The name is, at the moment, Sociosound. I’m happy about that, but the thing is that Jack wouldn’t listen to the people IN THE BAND, but to the people outside.
He also has a major problem with other people doing things. He seems really uptight about a lot of things, he wasn’t even sure if he was ok with having a song titled "Heroin" on our demo, and when it comes to this guy it’s always about if he’s ok with it or not, not what the other 3 people have to say.
That all came ac
Thanks to all of you that answered, I know it was a long question so thank you for taking the time. I kinda wish I could have more than one best answer here.
He’s so not taking things seriously you need to take these things in your own hands if he’s not. His lyrics? They are really shitty and they sound like something someone with no musical experience would write. It’s gay. he just doesn’t want to express his true feelings in his lyrics. If you feel that you have some sweet lyrics show them to the rest of the band and if they like it, then show him and if he doesn’t like it than he can shove it. Tell him to start contributing or get out and tell him if he’s gonna take control of the whole band? At least do it right and not slack off. You really gotta tell him about that stuff.
Also I think "Heroin" would be a sweet name for a song. I wish I had thought of that.
4 Responses to “I’m in a band, I’m a drummer, and I’m having trouble dealing with the singer. Any Help?”
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October 5th, 2009
Posted by admin in tango cd | 4 Comments »
personally I think if you are seriously thinking of the band as a long term thing you have to get on with each other, otherwise you would be spending alot of time with people you can’t stand (or a person)
maybe you should point this out to him although that can be pretty hard especially as this guy seems to have a pretty huge ego. (please say you aren’t singing his songs because those were some of the crappest lyrics I’ve ever heard!).
Sometimes singers (because they are generally the front people) assume they are the leaders of the band or that because they are singing the lyrics they have to have written them. I think you just need to make it clear to him that everyone in the band is equal.
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He’s so not taking things seriously you need to take these things in your own hands if he’s not. His lyrics? They are really shitty and they sound like something someone with no musical experience would write. It’s gay. he just doesn’t want to express his true feelings in his lyrics. If you feel that you have some sweet lyrics show them to the rest of the band and if they like it, then show him and if he doesn’t like it than he can shove it. Tell him to start contributing or get out and tell him if he’s gonna take control of the whole band? At least do it right and not slack off. You really gotta tell him about that stuff.
Also I think "Heroin" would be a sweet name for a song. I wish I had thought of that.
References :
im in a band too but i cant say ive been through the same.. umm it seems most likely thats just the way he is. he definitely sounds like he messes with the dynamic of u and your original bandmates. i couldnt stand that myself. tried it once. it sucked..
he’s a manipulative person in general. i’d bet you money that he has a-hole parents and he has a control issue. or adopted/fostered.
that kinda person you don’t really ‘deal’ with unless theyre your boss but thats something else. i’d want him out personally. talk to your original bandmates and if they have your back, then kick him out. the worst that could happen is he has a little tantrum (and he’s how old?) and spreads stupid rumors. pfft, u dont need him. you’ll never make it big with someone like that in your way.
i’d like to help, get in contact with me if you want
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It’s better for you and the other band members to have a singer to practice with but its no good if you don’t ALL get along. I suggest keeping this guy for the moment but scout around quietly for another singer. Maybe put notices up at local schools where it would be unlikely for him to find out whats going on. It’s underhanded but the last thing you want is the band to break up over indifferences with one particular member. Incidently I prefer ‘Sociosound’. Good luck.
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